I ran into an old friend the other day. We started talking and she began sharing with me some marital issues she was having. She’s been married a long time and her husband recently moved out and has no communication with her. There is deep hostility and resentment on both sides yet each one feels helpless to do anything about it. Neither of the partners want a divorce, but feel completely stuck with no help in sight.
Change a few details in that story and perhaps this is you. No matter the details or the length of the marriage, there is always one common denominator. UNRESOLVED SIN
From my experience, it is normally one of the partners who carries all the pain while the other is unaware and unconcerned about healing or forgiveness. One of the partners has been praying and praying and praying and praying ………………….. for YEARS and nothing has changed. More often than not, the marriages end.
THEY DON’T HAVE TO!!!
Recently, as I was listening to a couple sharing their problems, it occurred to me that it’s not just prayers but the condition of our hearts when we pray.
Mark 11:25 (Message Bible) “And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.”
Whether we like it or not — when a relationship breaks down, no matter whose at fault, Jesus puts the burden on you & me to initiate reconciliation.
Praying with unforgiveness in your heart is like trying to put gloves on over top of mittens or trying to put on socks when you’re wearing shoes. It’s impossible.
Remember the question Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness? Matthew 18:21-22 (Message Bible) “At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
Please understand, I realize years of hurt have left deep scars. But you can’t hold onto that excuse. You will be a prisoner in a bad marriage forever.
Jesus promised us:
- He would use everything the devil meant for harm and turn it around for our good.
- He would give us life and life abundantly.
- He would give us the desires of our hearts … shall I go on???
If you’re tired of the same old problems year after year after year ……….try forgiveness BEFORE prayer. You will be amazed at how quickly God will come to your rescue.